Final Week

So this is our last week doing the 20% Project. I have really learned a lot from this experience. Mr.Lee told us from the beginning not to procrastinate and sure enough, that's what I did. At first, I thought I was going to write a novel on my own. Then I joined this group with these two people who were very unmotivated to write the book. But I think that that had a lot to do with the fact that it was the beginning of the year. Then we all seemed to separate and focused on our own projects. I thought that for sure once we split up, I'd get my work done because I'd have no more baggage. Boy was I wrong. I found that after they left or whatever, I had even LESS motivation than when we were a group. I guess I thought that I didn't have the pressure of letting down a group anymore. But something worse happened, I let down myself. This project showed me just how much one can disappoint themselves with nobody to blame but them. I know that probably wasn't the lesson we were supposed to learn, but that's what I got out of it.

Week 12

I feel really bad because the project is due so soon and I still have done nothing. Mr.Lee is always telling me that he wants to see my finished product but I continue to tell him that I am already planning on doing the final presentation on how I procrastinated for a whole year. I see where Mr.Lee is coming from when he tells me he is disappointed in me. He is somebody that I really admire and to hear him tell me that really sucks because he and I both know that I could do better. It's just my lack of effort. Here I am, yet another week in a row, talking about how I have done nothing once again. How am I not embarrassed? It's so annoying how much tolerance I have about the fact that I do nothing all the time in regards to my project.

Week 11

This week, I am still really annoyed at myself. I almost was going to start planning the story again but then I got distracted, as usual. I don't know why I have converted into this mediocre student and I don't know why I seem to be okay with that. If somebody asked me if I'm okay with not doing my work, I'd obviously say no. But I think somewhere inside of me, I indeed AM subconsciously okay with being this student. The reason I say this is because I don't really do anything to change the fact that I am a not-so-good student. It really amazes me that I managed to procrastinate for an entire school year. It's really truly amazing in the most horrible way. I constantly get down on myself for letting it get to this point where I have done virtually nothing for an entire school year long project. It's horrible.

Week 10

This week, I continue to look down on myself for not doing anything for my project. Nor have I done any work on how I'm going to present my project. I am the queen of procrastinators. Although it is nice to be called a queen, I do not like being on this throne. I feel so disappointed in myself for never doing anything. Like how do I feel okay with myself when I'm sitting in class just staring at the back of Kenny's head? That's so annoying. I legitimately annoy myself. I am way too smart a girl to be making myself do this. I need to find motivation. I realize that I should have had this grand realization to find myself motivation a long time ago. Motivation is everything. If one doesn't have motivation to do things that will bring good in their lives, then I personally think they are very week and easily distracted. I am one of those people. Unfortunately.

Week 9

This week, I basically did nothing. I continue to get lectured by Mr.Lee because he's very disappointed in me for not doing any work. He continues to tell me that he wants me to write the story. I have still not written it and I am kinda scared to see what he's going to say to me when I present a failed presentation that was really easy. I honestly know it was really easy but I just am so lazy to do it that I make it seem hard. I have only planned about one-forth of the story. I know why Mr.Lee is disappointed and it honestly makes me sad knowing he's disappointed because that means he knows I could do better. I don't like to be this type of student. I don't like to be grouped with kids that never do their work. I'm really not that kind of student.

Week 8

This week I didn't do anything for my 20% project. I am just really lazy I cannot bring myself to do anything for it, I don't have much motivation to put forth my ideas. I do think about the project often and wish that I did things for it because I do like my ideas but I just don't want to do it. I know that I'm going to regret not doing it but I just physically cannot do it I simply can't. I don't know what it is but I just felt really motivated at first to do this but then I got very lazy to do anything. For example, actually writing the book. I can perfectly imagine it in my head but I just don't want to write it. I hate writing dialogue and unfortunately books have to have dialogue so I get too lazy to do it.

Week 7

 

I realize that the project is all on my shoulders. If I do it or not, how well it turns out if I do indeed finish, or how far I get. So I want to start planning. We have about six weeks of this project left. So for the next two weeks or so, I will plan what will go on each page. I want it to be about 20 pages because that's how long Mr. Lee says children's books are usually so... I feel a little bit overwhelmed because that's a lot of pages compared to how many pages I have planned already. (Six, to be exact) I wonder at what point I will start concluding the story. Or how I'll even end it. To be honest, my goal right now (my realistic goal) is to have the outline finished and have the exact words that would be on each page.