Final Week

So this is our last week doing the 20% Project. I have really learned a lot from this experience. Mr.Lee told us from the beginning not to procrastinate and sure enough, that's what I did. At first, I thought I was going to write a novel on my own. Then I joined this group with these two people who were very unmotivated to write the book. But I think that that had a lot to do with the fact that it was the beginning of the year. Then we all seemed to separate and focused on our own projects. I thought that for sure once we split up, I'd get my work done because I'd have no more baggage. Boy was I wrong. I found that after they left or whatever, I had even LESS motivation than when we were a group. I guess I thought that I didn't have the pressure of letting down a group anymore. But something worse happened, I let down myself. This project showed me just how much one can disappoint themselves with nobody to blame but them. I know that probably wasn't the lesson we were supposed to learn, but that's what I got out of it.

Week 12

I feel really bad because the project is due so soon and I still have done nothing. Mr.Lee is always telling me that he wants to see my finished product but I continue to tell him that I am already planning on doing the final presentation on how I procrastinated for a whole year. I see where Mr.Lee is coming from when he tells me he is disappointed in me. He is somebody that I really admire and to hear him tell me that really sucks because he and I both know that I could do better. It's just my lack of effort. Here I am, yet another week in a row, talking about how I have done nothing once again. How am I not embarrassed? It's so annoying how much tolerance I have about the fact that I do nothing all the time in regards to my project.

Week 11

This week, I am still really annoyed at myself. I almost was going to start planning the story again but then I got distracted, as usual. I don't know why I have converted into this mediocre student and I don't know why I seem to be okay with that. If somebody asked me if I'm okay with not doing my work, I'd obviously say no. But I think somewhere inside of me, I indeed AM subconsciously okay with being this student. The reason I say this is because I don't really do anything to change the fact that I am a not-so-good student. It really amazes me that I managed to procrastinate for an entire school year. It's really truly amazing in the most horrible way. I constantly get down on myself for letting it get to this point where I have done virtually nothing for an entire school year long project. It's horrible.

Week 10

This week, I continue to look down on myself for not doing anything for my project. Nor have I done any work on how I'm going to present my project. I am the queen of procrastinators. Although it is nice to be called a queen, I do not like being on this throne. I feel so disappointed in myself for never doing anything. Like how do I feel okay with myself when I'm sitting in class just staring at the back of Kenny's head? That's so annoying. I legitimately annoy myself. I am way too smart a girl to be making myself do this. I need to find motivation. I realize that I should have had this grand realization to find myself motivation a long time ago. Motivation is everything. If one doesn't have motivation to do things that will bring good in their lives, then I personally think they are very week and easily distracted. I am one of those people. Unfortunately.

Week 9

This week, I basically did nothing. I continue to get lectured by Mr.Lee because he's very disappointed in me for not doing any work. He continues to tell me that he wants me to write the story. I have still not written it and I am kinda scared to see what he's going to say to me when I present a failed presentation that was really easy. I honestly know it was really easy but I just am so lazy to do it that I make it seem hard. I have only planned about one-forth of the story. I know why Mr.Lee is disappointed and it honestly makes me sad knowing he's disappointed because that means he knows I could do better. I don't like to be this type of student. I don't like to be grouped with kids that never do their work. I'm really not that kind of student.